Random · Weirdness

21


So I celebrate my twenty-first birthday by spending 15 hours in the OR.  Oh, the joys of CTS.  😛

I found the following in a classmate’s fb notes a couple of years back, but it seemed pretty appropriate even now, so this will be my birthday post.  And since I have only five minutes left to post this while its still the 11th and thus relevant, that will be all 😛 See you guys soon.

Anon on Approaching Twenty

I found this a few days back – only 10 days of being a teenager left

“They call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job or your degree course… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom, and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person.

One-night-stands and random hook-ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

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17 thoughts on “21

  1. Very deep.
    And In the spirit of quotable quotes, allow me to copy one that I came across only yesterday. Which makes me think it was meant to be put here.

    “In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school.
    You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with
    central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
    I rest my case.”
    – My Next Life by Woody Allen. Class Act.

    1. I like that quote. Very Benjamin-button-ish. It would be very cool to finish off as an orgasm lol, and when you think about it things would really be better off in reverse rather than moving forwards the way we do now.

  2. happy belated birthday. I am a new reader of your blog. I would have written the same thing if I had a blog when i was 21. Now I celebrated my 27th bday on 15 january. Things do change for good or for worse…. past can be annoying in that regard because it seems so attractive to cling onto and one can never do that. Eventually you learn to move on…. which again is a sad thing because sometimes you don’t want to be in a position where u have to make a choice of either clinging or moving on. I guess life is like that. With all its highs and lows we breath on.

    1. thank you! Do you know, I just went through your blog yesterday too, although not in detail. I’m please to meet you ^_^ and thanks so much for your comments.

      At 27 you sound as if you’ve experienced all that 🙂 I guess in retrospect you can really tell how it was to make those decisions to move on. As I am right now, experiencing the turbulence, everything just seems confusing and often frightening and sad. But I guess you’re right. Life is like that and it will pass soon. And then we’ll be 27 and as wise as you 😛

      1. lol well i think being “wise” is something that comes way later after hell lot of experience in life. I would say i may have become wiser than before but not wise :P. Still a long way to go and learn. The most helpful thing that i have learnt so far though is knowing the fact that “to get rid of any problem or phase in life you actually have to go through it ” and knowing “this too shall pass”. As long as u don’t look for shortcuts 🙂 ..life eventually becomes smoother and stable.

        1. aww, no shortcuts? But they make things so much easier! at least in the short term 😛

          how true. I keep thinking about making an arty version of “this too shall pass” or gam zeh ya’avor to hang in my room to remember. Because damn there are times that one gets the feeling one will be stuck in this mess forever. But I’m glad you shared your insight – its very hope-filling. And learning does pretty much go on for all of life.

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